the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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