you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
