Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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