Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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