Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
