You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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