I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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