Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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