eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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