Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize