Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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