so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
