Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
