As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He passed out mid-signature
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just puked most of my soul out..
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