found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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