ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
