bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
