i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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