i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
