You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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