I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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