i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
