Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize