just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
