he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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