We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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