I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
