i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
