God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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