He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
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Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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