my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize