I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize