how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
