Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
