I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
