New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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