Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
