i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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