she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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