the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
