3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
