They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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