The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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