He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
