Having a random hookup so left but love u
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
