over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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