What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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