Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
