Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
