dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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