I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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