shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
