Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
