U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
