Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
