i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
