Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize