think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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