I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize